Here we go again: Confessions of a second-time author
By Gemma Margerison
Your second book is apparently the one you really want to write. The first? Well, the first is more about cutting your teeth and making your mistakes and putting on your big girl pants and actually getting something out into the world. For me, this has a degree of truth to it. Don’t get me wrong, book one will always be my first-born baby, my first love, the first time I felt I could officially call myself an author, but I do feel an immense amount of self-inflicted pressure trying to write book number two. And that needs to stop.
My first book, Connected: The 12 Ways of Wellbeing for a Holistically Healthy Life, was released on World Mental Health Day, 10th October 2021, at a book launch and wellbeing fair I’d organised. I cried as I made my opening speech because it truly meant that much to me. In fact, I was so delighted that, when my proof copy arrived, I carried it around with me for hours just to make sure it was real. And although the dreaded Covid kept many people away, all my nearest and dearest were there to cheer me on after 18 months of sometimes beautiful, sometimes soul-destroying hard work.
The premise of Connected is to act as a cross between a self-help book and a wellbeing directory. Going back to my journalist roots, I spoke to over 40 wellbeing practitioners over 12 key areas, from personal trainers to yoga teachers to mortgage advisers to musicians, each with the purpose of helping people understand why they are important, what they can do themselves to improve this area, and where they can go for additional support. I’m grateful to this book for teaching me so much about the world of writing and publishing.
The biggest thing I’ve taken from writing Connected is that there are so many different ways to publish a book, and while there’s a lot of conflicting advice from people who prefer to do it one way or another, I don’t know if any of them are necessarily right or wrong. I chose to self-publish Connected on a very, very tight shoe-string budget. For me, this was all about time. I knew, after the pandemic, there would be a wave of self-care and wellbeing literature, as there has been, and I wanted Connected to be a meaningful contribution to that.
Secondly, and most importantly, nobody, and I mean nobody, is going to be as excited about your book as you are. This is a good thing. The real work starts when your book is published and your time and efforts go towards keeping it relevant, keeping it fresh in people’s minds, and keeping it turning over sales. This has been one of my failing points. As I’ve moved my business away from wellbeing and into confidence and resilience, I mistakenly started to believe that Connected had no place in my offering. Thankfully, I had some wonderful people bring me to my senses and now it plays an active role in my system.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I love Connected. I did an update on it for its first anniversary, which gave me the chance to reflect on everything the book has done and continues to do, personally and professionally. In 2022 alone, I’ve been able to get it into four independent bookshops; I’ve been part of multiple author events, hosted workshops, been to a book award ceremony and given guest speaker talks across the country. That said, the moment I’d launched it, I was thinking about writing book two.
I set off into my new project with the same bull-in-a-china-shop enthusiasm that I approach most things with. I bought a whole new set of stationery, drafted a rough plan, then set out writing with a tight and unrealistic deadline in mind. I’m a coach – I should have known better. It didn’t take long for the little niggles to set in, as they often do when you put too much pressure on yourself. Am I doing the right thing? Is this the book I really want to write? Am I doing it properly? Is this what I want to be known for? Am I ready?
The result has seen me plan, draft, and write thousands and thousands of words without any real direction or purpose. It saw me undertake hours of research without any real understanding of what I wanted to achieve from it. And it saw me bounce from one person to another trying to gather as much information as I could about what I was supposed to be doing, without any real grounding in my own voice. By October 2022, I was so disillusioned by it all, I spent most of my time applying for full-time jobs and abandoning the idea of a second book all together.
Then, one not-so special day at the end of that month, I went out for coffee with someone who has been an unofficial mentor to me for years now and who was instrumental in the creation of Connected by phoning me every week to check on my progress. In an act of nauseating self-pity, I laid out all my doubts, fears and uncertainties about this book, my life and my business on the table. Yes, it was just as melodramatic as it sounds. I didn’t really expect them to sort it out for me; I just needed to vent in a safe space.
It worked. I came away with a bit of a reality check about my second book. It didn’t need to be four books as one person had suggested, and then another person had told me it was a terrible idea. It didn’t need to be shocking or revolutionary as had been some other advice. And it didn’t need to be done tomorrow, fully ready to go, as I had come to expect of myself. No, I just needed to get back to that one simple question that should underpin everything you put your heart, soul and effort into: why?
The answer to this question was easy to find. I want to write because I love to write, or at least I did before I got lost inside my own head. I want to produce something in line with the work I deliver so that it’s another way to reach the people who need help developing their authentic confidence. I want to challenge myself and my model, to test it and make sure it keeps developing, and the research required for a book will help me do that. Once I had these things clear in my mind, everything else changed.
Now, at the beginning of 2023, I wouldn’t say I’m completely back at the drawing board but I’m picking up my plans again and I’m not moving from here until I’m happy. I’m going back through all my notes and picking out the parts that align with my new vision and purpose. I’m reassessing my timelines and timescales and making better use of the things I already have in place before trying to move on. Most importantly, I’m stepping away from the computer every time I start to feel frustrated or anxious or find myself staring blankly at the screen.
Here are the three main lessons I’ve learnt through this process so far…
Number one: listen to your own voice as well as other people’s. Everyone has their own take on what you should and shouldn’t do whether that’s in your writing, the way you dress or the car you drive. Yes, you need to be aware of your market and your audience but, ultimately, if your book isn’t an expression of you, it’s a waste of time. You are your unique selling point; you are your unique voice. Take that away and what are you left with?
Number two: don’t take yourself too seriously. Publishing books is a part of my work but it’s not my job. I do it because I love to write and because I know that someone somewhere will benefit from the things I write about, because people benefit from my coaching. Nothing is ever going to be fun all the time but there’s no sense in adding unnecessary pressure to something that is supposed to be a creative release for me. As with everything I do, I want to do a good job with my second book; in fact, I want to do the best job I can with it, but not at the expense of my health and sanity.
Number three: you can take your time. I am super impatient. If I have an idea, I want to do it now. At the same time, I can’t believe how fast years fly by. Give yourself the time to let your book and your ideas grow and develop. Grow with them, work with them, test them, prune them and get rid of the bits that don’t work. I know it’s frustrating when you just want to hold your book in your hands but it’s better than putting something out there and then wishing you could take it back. The time will pass anyway, probably quicker than you expected.
I know I’ve done a lot of lamenting here, but I am genuinely excited about my writing and publishing journey. I’m sure that if/when I come to write book three, I will have another list of lessons, laughs and laments to add to what I already know, and I can’t wait. That’s growth, right? In the meantime, I’m ready to approach 2023 and the rest of my book two journey armed with the same can-do attitude I’ve always had but a little bit more of the know-how I need to make book two the best book I’ve written so far.
About Gemma
Multi award-winning resilience and confidence expert Gemma Margerison is a coach, speaker, author and founder of the company Connected. With almost a decade of researching and working in wellbeing across multiple sectors, Gemma’s last role saw her as the learner engagement and wellbeing co-ordinator for BAE Systems, travelling the country delivering training and working 1:1 with apprentices, graduates, and Early Careers staff around safeguarding, wellbeing and resilience.
Now self-employed, Gemma has built a successful training and coaching company and over the last three years has delivered her resilience and confidence work within key frontline services, adult social care, charities, schools, universities and corporate organisations, as well as on a 1:1 basis. Gemma is also an active speaker, an academically published researcher and author of Connected: The 12 Ways of Wellbeing for a Holistically Healthy Life, available on Amazon.